Seven Ways to Promote Unity in the Church
- Become more like Christ. That may sound like an obvious, "Sunday school" answer, but it's Paul's answer in Philippians 2:1-11. The more your members have the mind of Christ, the more unified you will be as a church family.
- Deal with disagreements. Too often people try to sweep conflict under the church rug instead of handling disagreement in a biblical way (Matthew 18:15-20). If there is an issue between two people, deal with it quickly.
- Refuse to gossip. Gossip is an issue that's easy to spot in others and easy to overlook in ourselves. We may pass it off as sharing concerns or sharing prayer requests, but if we participate in gossip we are destroying unity.
- Apply 1 Corinthians 13. I know most people think of the "love" chapter as a passage you're supposed to read at weddings. But the immediate context is clearly talking about the relationships we have in our church family.
- Get busy with the mission. Too often church members are divided and fighting because they're not busy making disciples (Matthew 28: 18-20). Get busy making disciples, and odds are you won't have time to fight.
- Have realistic expectations. I'm talking about the expectations you have about other church members, particularly about your leaders. Every member of your church is battling indwelling sin, so expect some conflict.
- Be intentional about relationships. Relationships don't happen on their own. If you want to promote real unity in your church, you're going to have to go out of your way to build relationships with people you don't know.
- Talk negatively about other people. You can talk about people's past mistakes. You can talk about how people are ill-equipped to serve. You can talk about how certain people just rub you the wrong way. Just talk negatively about other people, and if at all possible do it behind their back.
- Always assume the worst in people. I know 1 Corinthians 13 says, love believes all things ... But if you want to destroy unity you're going to have to assume the worst in people. Don't consider their difficult circumstances or their unfortunate situations, just assume the worst in people.
- Judge other people's motives. I know you don't know what's in someone else's heart, and I know you can't read minds. But destroying unity requires you to pretend like you can do both of these things. You should regularly say things like this, "I'll tell you why she did / said that."
- Keep to yourself and wait for other people to initiate a relationship. This begins with the notion that life revolves around you. Why should you go out of your way to initiate a relationship with someone else? Just sit back and wait for people to come to you. When they don't, see 1-3 above.
- Expect other people to serve you. Every church needs people to serve, but why should that be you? If you are asked to serve, try one of these excuses,"I'll be praying about that opportunity," "I'm not sure that's my spiritual gift," or, "I've put in my time, now it's someone else's turn."